Welcome to the February edition of Tea With Dee. I hope you are having a lovely afternoon. And I sincerely hope your weather is better than ours. It’s wet and dreary here. But that’s perfect weather for a cup of tea and a cozy conversation. Pour yourself a cup and let’s chat.

 

Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. Read more here.

TEA WITH DEE

February 2018

 

 

LIFE ON APPLE TREE FARM 

February weather in Oklahoma is certainly not boring. We’ve had ice storms, thunderstorms, burn bans and flood warnings. Our temperatures have ranged from the single digits to the 70s.

The first signs of spring are a little late this year but the daffodils are finally starting to bloom. That always gives me hope that winter will soon be in the rearview mirror.

 

 

READING

Remodeling a cottage in the French countryside? Yes, please. This book is right up my alley. So far I’m just reading and keeping my plans a secret. I’m sure there will be some eye-rolling when I spring it on David.

 

 

WATCHING

David and I have been watching the new season of Grace and Frankie.  The writing is excellent. Just when it could easily cross the line and become a bit maudlin, there will be a laugh-out-loud line. 

 

I’m not generally a big fan of action movies but since David is such a good sport about chick flicks, I decided we should go see Black Panther. Wow! I was absolutely blown away by it. The storyline, characterization, costuming, special effects, cinematography and casting were simply superb. If you haven’t seen it yet, I highly recommend it.

 

LISTENING

We started a new ritual. David and I have a nice stereo system and have been collecting vinyl the past few years. Our son, Chris, has been doing so much longer and has quite a collection. We decided to pick one evening a week to listen to albums together. We each pick one album so we listen to a total of three. It’s a lovely way to spend an evening.

For our first listening experience we chose albums by Donald Fagen (Chris), Lyle Lovett (David), and Leonard Cohen (me): 

 

Podcast: Tea and Tattle 

Weekly discussions on culture, books, wellbeing and more, as well as interviews with inspiring women. It’s a charming podcast worth the listen if only to hear the adorable British accents. 

 

INSPIRATION

Be Inspired to Enjoy Your Mealtimes…Italian Style!

Creating a Cozy Sanctuary: My Master Bedroom

Your Own French Potager (Kitchen Garden)

 

TEATIME

It’s no secret that Earl Grey is my favorite tea. However, since giving up sugar in my tea for Lent, I’ve been more inclined to branch out and enjoy other flavors of tea. Here is one I’ve been enjoying:

ON THE BLOG ~ FEBRUARY HIGHLIGHTS

Debi’s Cajun Style Jambalaya

Bringing Back the House Dress ~ Winter Version

The Best (and the Worst) of The FlyLady

 

COMING UP IN MARCH

Spring cleaning, organizing, my mom’s potato salad recipe, the 1940s…

~~~~~

 

Are you subscribed to my newsletter? If not, here is the link. It is similar in tone to these Tea With Dee posts but contains different, exclusive content. My goal is to send it out every Saturday but you know how those things go.

 

 

Here we are…well into 2018…and I’m just getting my goals finalized for the year. Please tell me I’m not the only one who didn’t have them all figured out by January 1st. But a year is a long time so I really don’t think it matters much if it took me almost half of January to finalize my 2018 goals and resolutions. Right? 

At least I had my word of the year chosen earlier:

MY WORD OF THE YEAR

Simplicity, which you can read about here.

Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. Read more here.

MY 2018 GOALS AND RESOLUTIONS

To determine my goals and resolutions each year, I came up with ten categories or life areas. I then create goals for each. I like to do it this way because it helps me be sure that I’m addressing all areas of my life.

Last year I was overly ambitious in setting goals but not so great with the follow-through. This year I have limited myself to three goals in each area and have tried to make them more realistic.

 

HEALTH

1. Get seven hours of sleep each night. This is a biggie for me. Way too often I’m getting only 5 hours and occasionally even less.
2. Lose 20 pounds. I need to lose more than that but I’m setting a reasonable goal for the year.
3. Exercise 3-5 times a week.

RELATIONSHIPS

1. Get back into a regular date night habit.
2. Host at least quarterly game nights with our kids.
3. Take my mom to her favorite Indian restaurant in Norman at least twice.

BLOG

1. Create at least one product – a course, eBook, or something similar.
2. Update at least 20 of my old posts (better photos, updated information, etc.).
3. Introduce a new feature. This is coming soon. Hint: It’s tea-related.

HMA FOUNDATION

1. Move the “Timely Tunes” feature to our nonprofit’s website.
2. Send out quarterly email newsletters.
3. Plan a “Blues and Barbecue” festival.

SPIRITUAL

1. Read a passage in my grandmother’s Bible each day.
2. Meditate daily.
3. Read Rich Christians in an Age of Hunger by Ronald J. Sider

HOME

1. Complete the 14-week Home Organization Challenge by A Bowl Full of Lemons.
2. Get a small flock of chickens this Spring.
3. Bake bread regularly.

PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT/LEARNING

1. Read 50 books.
2. Complete Crystal Paine’s “4 Weeks to a More Productive Life”.
3. Do one Rosetta Stone French lesson per week.

GREEN GOALS

1. Get David to put up a clothesline for me outdoors, plus a pull-down laundry rack in our laundry room so I can hang most of our laundry.
2. Compost consistently.
3. Read Silent Spring by Rachel Carson.

FINANCIAL

1. Set up bank account for my blog.
2. Set up PayPal for my blog.
3. Create an LLC for my blog.

PERSONAL/FUN

1. Paint at least three oil paintings.
2. Purchase annual pass for the Oklahoma City Museum of Art and visit at least six times.
3. Watch six French films.

 

It’s all well and good to select goals and make resolutions but without a plan, it’s unlikely that I’ll be very successful in the implementation. That’s why I’m trying something a little different this year.

At the beginning of each month as I’m filling in the monthly calendar in my Happy Planner, I’m choosing a few things to focus on or accomplish and writing them in the notes section of that month’s page. Some things may be there every month such as “Read 4 books” which will be necessary to meet my goal for the year. Other things which are one-time events or actions can be spread out over the year.

I think by breaking my list down and focusing on just a few things at a time, I’ll be more likely to complete my goals.

The other thing I’ve done is find an accountability partner for my weight loss goal. One of my readers emailed me in response to one of my newsletters and shared her goals for the year. Our weight loss goal is similar so we decided to team up and check in with one another once a week. I think that’s going to be very helpful.

Do you set annual goals or select a “Word of the Year”? If so I’d love to hear about it. Leave me a comment. And if you’d like to but haven’t gotten around to it yet, there’s still time. Here are a few resources that might help:

 

New Year’s Resolutions: Planning For a Year of Achievement

12 Life Goal Categories

Free Goal Setting Worksheets

SMART Goals: How to Make Your Goals Achievable 

10 BIGGEST MISTAKES PEOPLE MAKE IN SETTING GOALS (AND HOW TO FIX THEM) – podcast by Michael Hyatt

How To Change Your Life By Setting Goals by Crystal Paine

Top 100 Goal Setting Books 

Daily Goals – A simple habit tracker (this is the one I use on my phone)

A Step-By-Step Process for Setting Goals – podcast by The Productive Woman

Related Life With Dee posts:

Setting and Achieving Your Goals: A Challenge

Setting Goals for 2016

Mid-Year Review

Resource List For Goal Setting

Dee’s New Planner: Getting Organized in 2016

My Word For 2018

Tying Up Loose Ends and Preparing For the New Year

A Weekly Planning Session

 

 

 

 

 

Last year I chose the word “Release” for my Word of the Year.  There were things I’d held on to far too long and needed to let them go. I was not successful in all the areas I had in mind when I chose the word but for the one situation which had nearly destroyed my peace of mind for several years, I can honestly say I finally found the release I sought. Nothing about the situation actually changed, just my acceptance of it. And truly, that’s all I have control over.

 

 

I hadn’t given much serious thought to my word for 2018 until I listened to a Productive Woman podcast early in December:

 

Voluntary Simplicity, with Courtney Carver

 

And then I immediately knew what my word would be – Simplicity.

 

I looked at several definitions for “Simplicity”.

Merriam-Webster defines it as: the state of being simple, uncomplicated, or uncompounded.

Some other resources define it as the quality of “plainness”, “clearness”, “not fancy”, “natural”, “easy to understand”, “freedom from affectation” or “freedom from pretentious style”… among other synonyms.

 

For my purposes, “simple” and “uncomplicated” come closest to what I have in mind.

 

 

When I think of simplicity and simple living, my grandmother immediately comes to mind. I’ve talked about her here on the blog before:

The Wisdom of Grandma

Grandma’s Bible

Memories of Grandma

Back to Basics on Apple Tree Farm

 

Grandma lived a simple life of daily routines and quiet contentment. While I’m not prepared to give up all my interests beyond home-keeping, and I have no intentions of giving up my car (Grandma didn’t drive), I do want to emulate her calm, unhurried, simple approach to daily life. Or at least make some definite strides in that direction.

 

For some, simplicity may bring up thoughts of minimalism. I’ve shared here before that I’m in no way a minimalist and really don’t have any desire for that lifestyle. However, I certainly have much I could delete from our home and that’s definitely on my to-do list for the year.

I know that Marie Kondo, the author of “The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up”, recommends asking whether each item in our home “sparks joy” but that doesn’t really resonate with me. I can’t say that my vacuum cleaner sparks joy but that doesn’t mean getting rid of it makes sense. Instead, I plan to evaluate each area of my home in terms of whether it fits my lifestyle comfortably or makes it more complicated. For instance, the cupboard where I store lidded plastic containers and mixing bowls is too full. Removing a large mixing bowl from the back of the cabinet often results in other items falling on the floor. This is not “simplicity”; this is annoyance. So I will be getting rid of enough that I can easily remove the item I want without causing a plastic avalanche.

 

My daily routines and our family calendar are additional areas I’ll be addressing with a goal of simplifying. By the end of the year I hope to have banished the phrase “too busy” from my vocabulary. Okay, that may be a bit unrealistic but I can certainly scale back considerably.

I want…no, I NEED…some margin in my life. I want time to play the piano, learn to crochet, do some oil painting on the new easel David bought me for Christmas, and read. I did read more in 2017 than I had in the previous couple of years but I’d like to increase my reading time even more. I also want to bake bread regularly, plant a garden and get chickens this spring.

Perhaps that list sounds like the very opposite of simplifying my life but those are things I enjoy and can totally lose myself in.

Obviously I’ll need to give up or at least reduce the time spent on other things. I’ve been taking a hard look at the time I spend on social media. This is a challenging area for me because I use social media for our non-profit, as well as this blog. It’s not like I can just give it up entirely. So this year will be time of learning to manage my use of social media wisely.

 

Now, it’s all well and good to choose a word for the year but without a plan, it’s likely to be forgotten by the end of January. Ask me how I know this. So here are some of the actions I will be taking in order to live out my intention to focus on simplicity this year:

1. Decluttering

Little by little I will sort through my house, getting rid of the excess. I have a large, lidded plastic container and my goal is to fill it at least once a week and then drop off the items at our local Re-Use Center.

2. Say “no” to some activities and events

Our schedule has been WAY too busy the past few years. We run a nonprofit foundation which supports music and the arts in our community, as well as serving on various local boards and committees with similar missions. We love what we are doing and are proud of what we’ve accomplished in our small community. However, it’s time to start delegating a bit. David and I are also going to take time this winter while things are slower to go ahead and schedule bands and musicians for our events during spring, summer and fall.

3. Simplify meals

I do love to cook and wouldn’t want to give up this expression of creativity. However there are several things I can do to simplify things in the kitchen. For one thing, I’m standardizing my weekday breakfasts and lunches. My cold-weather breakfast will consist of oatmeal, fruit or orange juice, and hot tea. I can make a large batch of oatmeal on Monday mornings and just reheat the rest of the week. I don’t want the exact same lunch every day but I can simplify the decision making process by choosing a protein, fruit and/or vegetable, and some type of whole grain or legume.

I do already plan my menu for the week and will, of course, continue to do so. If this is something you could use help with, be sure to check out the time-sensitive offer at the bottom of this post.

4. Create simpler morning, afternoon and evening routines

I’ve written about routines here on the blog several times. My own routines have changed many times. I’m forever trying to fine-tune them and get the most out of them. But that’s part of the problem. I tend to make them too long and too complicated. Then I feel discouraged when I can’t maintain them. I’m going to start from scratch and choose just three things for each of my daily routines – morning, afternoon and evening. Then I’m going to practice them faithfully for a month before adding more.

If you need help creating daily routines, be sure to join my Facebook group – Make Over Your Life With Dee.  It’s a private group where, together, we can figure this all out and hold one another accountable.

5. Evaluate my blog and nonprofit-related work

It’s all too easy to simply continue to do things a certain way (or even do them at all) because it’s become a habit. I’m going to do some careful evaluation of all the work tasks I do and decide whether or not each of them is necessary and if so, if there’s a simpler or more efficient way to accomplish them.

6. Schedule time off

When you work from home it’s all too easy to find yourself working at all hours. Now that I have a dedicated home office I’m trying to keep somewhat regular hours. I still have room for improvement in this area, however. I also want to set aside one afternoon a week just for myself. There are so many things I want to do – brush up on my French, read, watch movies, paint, learn to crochet, play the piano – but if I don’t create time for those pursuits they just don’t happen. In addition to an afternoon a week I’m also going to schedule a full day off once a month. I think I might purchase an annual pass to the museum in the city like I did last year and make a point of going once a month.

 

I’m pretty excited about my word choice this year and look forward to the changes it will bring to my life.

 

Do you select a word of the year? If so, I would love to hear what you’ve chosen for 2018 and why.

 

 

 

Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. Read more here.

 

 

If you’ve been reading Life With Dee for any length of time you’ve likely seen one or more of my monthly Grocery Haul posts. My daughter and I usually shop together once a month in the city and make a day of it. You can see my last Grocery Haul post here. Well, have I got a grocery haul to tell you about!

Last Wednesday afternoon, David rushed into the house unexpectedly and said he had been asked to load up a couple of trailers worth of supplies and drive them down to the Houston area. The company he works for has locations in Channelview, Beaumont and Port Arthur and the company owners wanted to get supplies to their employees as soon as possible.

I decided to go with him. He and his assistant spent several hours purchasing groceries and other supplies. A couple of friends showed up to help, too. They loaded 43 carts at Walmart! David finally got home for dinner around 9 p.m.

We quickly packed, finished up some things around home and finally got to bed around midnight. It would have been a little earlier if our ancient dryer hadn’t chosen that night to die. Fortunately I was still up and smelled it before it caught fire. Of course the clothes weren’t quite dry so I had to put them on the wooden drying rack I have in our guest room. Which reminds me…they are still there. Yes, we are living in chaos lately.

Anyway, we got up at 4 a.m., left by 4:30 and headed to Walmart to pick up milk and eggs before heading out. Now, if you know me very well, you likely know I don’t shop at Walmart. In fact, I hadn’t been in our local Walmart for close to 10 years. However, I was willing to make an exception for this, especially since Walmart had refunded the sales tax on the purchases David made the night before. We know one of the managers there and she also recruited cart pushers to help load all those supplies into the trailers. I may not be a fan of the Walmart corporation but I definitely want to give credit where credit is due.

I stayed with the trucks and trailers after we brought out all the milk and the guys went back for the eggs. It was a little eerie sitting in a darkened Walmart parking lot with coyotes howling nearby. It felt a bit like a David Lynch movie.

We then filled up gas cans with 36 gallons worth of gasoline and headed out of town. We had heard that gas might be hard to come by so we topped off our tanks several times on the way down just to be sure we would have enough to get back without having to use any that we were bringing with us.

We brought close to $8000 worth of supplies with us and two other company locations brought pickup trucks full as well. We unloaded as quickly as we could and it still took a couple of hours. I tried to organize the supplies as best I could but it was a LOT of stuff!

 

 

 

 

As soon as we got everything unloaded we headed back toward home. We were all three exhausted so we stopped about an hour South of Dallas, checked into a hotel, went out for dinner and then crashed for the night. We got back to town mid-afternoon Friday, stopped at Sears to buy a new dryer and then headed home where David installed the new dryer right away. Since it was Labor Day weekend we were able to get a great deal on the dryer.

I am beyond grateful that David works for a company that cares so much for its employees. They gave him no limit on what he could spend on supplies. They have already sent some emergency funds to the 16 employees who suffered home damage/flooding. They have also set up an employee donation fund and are matching it dollar for dollar.

I also want to give a shout-out to David’s assistant, Dan, who spent several hours helping him buy the supplies and then drove one of the trucks and trailers to Houston with us. He then worked all weekend afterwards.

We continue to hold the people affected by Hurricane Harvey in our thoughts and prayers and are now watching and praying for those in the path of Hurricane Irma.

 

~~~~~

 

Here’s How You Can Help People Affected by Harvey

Presbyterian Disaster Assistance

United Methodist Committee on Relief

 

Hello friends. David’s boss in Houston asked him and his assistant to each bring a trailer full of food and other supplies to their company location in Channel View, Texas. Fortunately their employees in that location are okay but they have no access to food or other needed supplies because everything is shut down or sold out.

I offered to go with him. It’s about a 6 1/2 hour drive each way under normal circumstances and could be double that with the traffic. If nothing else, I can keep him company. I’ve never driven a pickup hauling a trailer but this might be my opportunity if he needs a break.

I’m telling you all this because it means I’ll be even further behind in my planned posts than I already am. There’s a slight chance I’ll get my grocery haul post done tonight but I wouldn’t count on it. (*Update: I finished it and have scheduled it to post tomorrow morning.)

Please continue to keep the people who have been affected by this terrible disaster in your thoughts and prayers. And if you can donate to one of the many organizations providing assistance, I encourage you to do so.

 

 

There are apparently people who immediately get rid of every scrap of paper as soon as it is no longer needed. They clean out purses and briefcases every week. If they are no longer using said purse or briefcase…out it goes. It’s all terribly impressive.

 

But there’s a downside to being so organized and minimalistic. These folks never have the pleasure of opening a time capsule in their very own house.

 

 

This past weekend we put on a music event for a car dealership in Tulsa. David and I set up the sound system for the band (well, David did it with a little help from me because he actually knows what he’s doing and I don’t). While loading up all the equipment afterwards, David decided he should organize it all better, including getting a special case for the expensive microphones.

Then Sunday evening he comes into my office with a (very dusty) briefcase that he found in the closet under our stairs and said he was going to get a piece of foam to put inside to fit the microphones. He thought it was his old briefcase but when we opened it we discovered it was mine.

 

The next morning I dusted it off and decided to look through the contents. Oh, my. It was a veritable time capsule from the mid-90s.

 

 

The interesting thing was the time period it covered. I worked as charge nurse and then assistant manager of the rehab unit at our local hospital from 1992 to 1994. I was then offered and accepted a job as case manager for a hospice agency. I worked there from 1994 to 1996 and then, due to serious health issues, I quit and began homeschooling our kids. In the fall of 1996 I was so desperately ill with asthma that an E.R. doctor actually told me I might need to move somewhere else. My aunt and uncle graciously offered me the use of their beach house in California for a month. I took 10 year old Lisa with me, while Chris stayed with David because he was in the middle of soccer season.

This briefcase contained items which spanned that whole period:

• a pay slip from the hospital
• a nursing assessment sheet from hospice
• a couple of packages of topical wound dressing
• a homeschooling catalog
• letter that Lisa wrote to David and Chris when we were in California
• various miscellaneous items (including a sucker, of all things!)
• several Earl Grey tea bags
• a to-do list from July 8, 1996

This is what I found most interesting:

No wonder my health suffered during that time period. I was working full-time as a hospice nurse, keeping a spotless house, providing home-cooked meals, and had two young children. The stress of providing compassionate care for dying people and their families every day would have been plenty on its own. One of these days I’ll share some of the lessons I learned from that time in my life but suffice it to say that it wasn’t a healthy way to live.

 

As I looked through all the items in the briefcase I was flooded with memories and emotions. For the most part they were good memories but thinking back on my short career as a R.N. is a little bittersweet. I especially loved my time as a hospice nurse. It wasn’t a job…it was a calling. I will always be grateful for the experience but I’m also glad I had the opportunity to homeschool my kids.

 

Life is a series of experiences but we don’t often get to see several major episodes in such a clear snapshot as I did when I opened that briefcase. And that is why I’m glad I am not as organized as I probably should be.