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La Maison ~ Home, the French Way

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Ever since I can remember, I’ve loved to “play house”.  No matter where I was, I nested.  At home, my room was my sanctuary and I loved making it pretty and comfortable.  Next door at my grandparents’ house, I would play by the hour in a corner of her den, setting up a little “house” in which to play with my dolls.  On vacations I would even claim a little area as my own in which to play.

 

As a little girl I longed for the day I would have my own home.  When David and I married, we rented a tiny, one bedroom apartment.  Despite its diminutive size and our lack of furniture or much of anything else, I still enjoyed making it a home.  We’ve since lived in four additional places in our nearly 35 years of marriage and in each one, I’ve done my best to make it attractive, comfortable and homey.

La Maison

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From what I’ve read about the typical French woman, home is of vital importance.  It is her sanctuary, her respite from the world, the place where she can be herself.  The French woman may decorate her home in any number of styles and yet there is always something unique and personal about it.  Perhaps because the French value their history and are more likely to renovate rather than demolish and rebuild, there is a sense of permanence in the typical French abode.  Likewise, the passing down of treasured pieces of furniture and other items is common-place so you aren’t likely to see a French home furnished entirely with brand new furniture and decorated to look like the showroom of a furniture gallery.  It’s more personal…a look that is the result of layering new and old items in a one-of-a-kind way.

 

French homes tend to be smaller than the typical American is used to, with rooms doing double duty.  While newer American houses are likely to have two living areas, plus a dining room, the French woman living in an apartment probably only has one living area with a dining table at one end.  While we seem to keep building larger homes with more rooms, the French woman wonders why a family is afraid of intimacy.  I thought this quote from Entre Nous was interesting:
“Eventually, you Americans will have a separate room for every person, including a special bathroom for each pet, and your rooms will be so large you will be able to avoid authentic human contact at all costs!” (Entre Nous by Debra Ollivier pg. 193)

Hmm…makes you think, doesn’t it?  I’m a loner by nature and value my privacy, yet even I am perplexed by many of the homes I see being built these days.  I pretty much quit watching those house hunter shows on HGTV because I was rather put off by all the young couples with only one or two tiny children who absolutely HAD to have at least 4000 square feet, four bedrooms, four bathrooms, one or two offices and a separate playroom for the kids.  While I do know that too many people crammed into a small space, especially without adequate storage, can be very stressful, I think we often go overboard the other way.  There should be a happy medium, don’t you think? While I don’t have any personal interest in the “tiny house” movement, I’m truly pleased to see that some are beginning to consider smaller homes.

Another thing that is usually different about the French woman’s home is that her living room is generally set up in order to encourage conversation rather than being centered around the entertainment center.

Where electronica reigns in many traditional American living rooms, books are king in the French one, and they’re present everywhere: lined up in built-in bookshelves, spilling onto the floor in small piles with well-worn spines and dog-eared pages. (Entre Nous by Debra Ollivier pg. 192)

Now that’s something I truly share with my French sisters.  My home is filled with books.  The laundry room is the one room in my house without books and if I thought the cats would leave them alone, I’d probably have some in there as well.  And while we do have televisions, I haven’t yet caved in on the issue of a large, flat-screen t.v. for the family room.  When we bought this house, we bought a nice entertainment center to house the television and other equipment.  When the doors are closed, all you see is a pretty piece of furniture and I insist on keeping those doors closed unless the t.v. is in use.  It’s located next to our fireplace so the furniture is situated in such a way that we can just as easily watch a crackling fire as the latest sit-com.  I know that media rooms are all the rage but I much prefer our library.  We have a separate room with built-in bookshelves, nice stereo system, the piano and organ, and NO television.  It’s a quiet retreat from busy-ness and too much input.

A room without books...

I’ve recently had a surge of my old interests in interior design and homemaking.  I’m starting to spend more time puttering about, re-arranging decorative items and planning a few changes.  David works long hours in a stressful business so I feel that the least I can do is make our home a peaceful sanctuary for him.  I’m getting in touch with my “inner French girl” and seriously considering ways to make our home life more serene and pleasurable.  I’m sure you’ll be reading more about this from me in the coming months and I’d love to hear your thoughts on the subject.

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La Maison - FB

French Friday – some fun resources

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I have recently discovered some delightful online resources with a French flair and would love to share them with you:



1. Tonya Leigh – blog posts, podcasts, live events, online “soirées”, group coaching, and the wonderful “French Kiss Life Club”

The “French Kiss Life Club” group which is probably my favorite place on Facebook these days. You can join the club here (free!).
    

2. The Simply Luxurious Life – blog posts, podcasts, newsletter, recipes, French-inspired living

3. Tranquility Du Jour – blog posts, podcasts, books, events, coaching

I am thoroughly enjoying these resources and highly recommend checking them out. If you know of any similar sites/blogs/podcasts please leave me a comment!

French Friday ~ “Forever Chic” (Chapter 7)

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Chapter Seven
Confronting the Closet Conundrum


If chapter length has anything to do with it, clothing ranks right up there with skin care in the list of what it takes to be as chic as a Frenchwoman. How exactly do those Frenchwomen manage to look put together, stylish and yet give the air that it was all effortless? 
First up, and perhaps the most difficult for many of us, is attitude. The typical Frenchwoman exudes confidence. Her posture says, “Hey, I’m me and I look great.” No matter what one wears, this alone can make a woman more attractive. This is something I’ve noticed from all the people watching I do, especially on our trips to New Orleans. I can’t tell you how many women I’ve seen who couldn’t exactly be called pretty who still manage to exude a degree of confidence which makes them attractive. 
Now, getting to the specifics about clothing, here are the basics which help Frenchwomen achieve their enviable style:
Quality clothing – Their wardrobe may be relatively small but the foundation is a collection of well-made basics which they will wear for many years. They will save and splurge on that black leather pencil skirt and then continue to wear it for ages. The fact that they keep their weight steady makes this possible. 

Neutrals – French women tend to gravitate toward neutrals for the basis of their wardrobe. Black, navy, gray, brown…these form the the bulk of the Frenchwoman’s clothing purchases, particularly those quality pieces she will wear for many years. This also allows her to have a smaller wardrobe. No one is likely to notice if she wears the same black slacks 2 or 3 times a week.

Adding color – Just because she favors neutrals doesn’t mean the Frenchwoman totally eschews color in her closet. It’s just that color is added judiciously, making sure it complements the neutral base of her wardrobe. A beautiful, emerald green cashmere sweater can add a stunning pop of color in a mostly black and gray clothing collection, for instance. But she is likely to limit colorful pieces to perhaps 15-20%. 

Fit – This is the element I think many American women could use help with. The typical Frenchwoman’s clothes fit beautifully and are selected to flatter her feminine curves. Perhaps it’s because fashion is such a huge deal in France and women are surrounded with good examples, but they seem to do a much better job in this regard. 
Tish Jett, the author, devotes several pages of this chapter to detailed descriptions of real French women’s wardrobes including clothing lists. This is actually pretty helpful and has inspired me to inventory my closet and start making a list of what I’d like to add to it. 
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You can read my reviews of previous chapters by clicking on the links below:




French Friday ~ “Forever Chic” (Chapter 6)

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Chapter Six
Exercise? Bien Sur!
La Femme Française Formula:
Fitness For the Fun of It
It is a common notion that French women don’t exercise. According to Tish Jett, the author of “Forever Chic”, this is not true. Exercise classes are extremely popular in France. Pilates, yoga, tai chi and aquagym classes are are all very well-attended. Women of all ages are even taking up jogging. 
French women do, however, prefer an element of fun in their efforts to keep fit. Biking, walking, skiing, tennis, golf…these are activities which provide the French woman with exercise as well as a dose of fresh air, something considered to be very important. 

“Aeration is part of the French esthetic, another aspect of taking good care of oneself.”

One thing the French seem to do better than Americans is simply including more movement in their day-to-day life. The government gets in on the act, too. Along with messages about teaching your children not to snack between meals, the word “Bouger!” (Move!) is periodically flashed on the bottom of the television screen. It would seem that the French, as a culture, take health seriously and aren’t offended by government efforts to encourage healthy eating and exercise. If only that were true in America. 

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You can read my reviews of previous chapters by clicking on the links below:

French Friday ~ “Forever Chic” (Chapter 5)

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Chapter Five
Le Régime 
The Art of Eating Well

Ask most anyone what aspect of the stereotypical “French woman” is most envied and I would wager the #1 response is the ability to stay slim despite all that delicious French food and wine. Or is that just me? Non, I’m sure it’s not. 
In Chapter Five, author Tish Jett delves into this mystery. Yes, French women do indulge in cheese, wine, chocolate, etc. However it’s not quite as mysterious as it seems. There are any number of little tricks the average French woman uses to keep her svelte figure. 
Here are some of my favorites from this chapter:
  • Minimal snacking. The French as a whole discourage indiscriminate snacking between meals. Even children are generally expected to follow a three-meal-a-day eating routine, with perhaps a small, planned afternoon snack (le goûter). 
  • Plenty of fruits and vegetables. Healthy eating is important and by filling up on fruits and veggies, which are generally low in calories, one will consume fewer calories overall. 
  • Mindful eating. Make deliberate choices, eat sitting down, and truly focus on your meals.
  • A first course of salad or soup. This is something I’ve found to be truly helpful. We don’t do it all the time, or even most of the time, but when I serve a salad or something else as a first course, I find that we eat less overall. Tonight, for instance, I’m serving artichokes as an appetizer. Experience has taught me that we will be full on smaller portions of the main course. 
  • Enjoy your food.  This is my absolute favorite tip. Food should be delicious and it should bring true pleasure. Don’t eat just to eat. Prepare delicious meals and then take the time to savor them. And if you decide to indulge in a piece of dark chocolate, don’t feel guilty. Eat it slowly, perhaps with a cup of tea, and enjoy every tiny bite. 
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You can read my reviews of previous chapters by clicking on the links below:

French Friday ~ “Forever Chic” (Chapter 4)

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Chapter Four
Hair Rules
Non, Non, et Non
 
Hair is the subject of Chapter Four and again, “natural” is the name of the game. No teased and lacquered hair for the typical French woman, please. Soft, shiny, and with a bit of swing…that’s the preferred look.
It may look as if it happens effortlessly but French women are willing to make a significant investment in the care of their hair. She will take the time to find just the right cut and (perhaps) color to suit her and budget for the expense of upkeep. She will pinch pennies elsewhere in order to afford professional hair care.
One thing I found interesting is that, according to the author, French women may only wash their hair twice a week. Until fairly recently, I washed mine every day and thought that was essential. However, I’ve discovered that it’s possible to cut back and have your hair actually look better.
Hair length is another consideration, especially for the older woman. At least where I live, most women my age have short hair. I am bucking that trend because I just feel more like “me” with some length. A shoulder-length bob is apparently a popular look for women my age in France but anything goes as long as it’s flattering.
Color is the next topic in this chapter and this is where do-it-yourself is not generally the best choice. This is something I discovered for myself a number of years ago. When I quit my job as a R.N. in order to homeschool our kids, our income was cut in half. In looking for ways to cut expenses I gave up having my nails done and started coloring my own hair. The discontinuation of the color I’d been using and a disastrous attempt with a new color sent me scurrying to a salon to have the damage repaired. It looked SO much better than what I’d been doing myself that David told me to just keep having it done at the salon. Money was no longer a concern but I had just gotten in the habit of doing it myself. However, he convinced me that this was worth leaving to the professionals. There is also a discussion regarding allowing one’s hair to go gray but let me just say, I’m nowhere near ready to make that choice.
Care and maintenance finish off the chapter. Other than argon oil, there aren’t any specific product recommendations. Rather, there are general tips regarding the avoidance of stripping the natural oils from one’s hair and not overusing hair products. One tip I am going to try is applying argon oil before shampooing. I am also on the lookout for a good, deep moisturizing treatment to use once a week.
I think we all feel better about ourselves when our hair looks good and it’s worth the time it takes for every day to be a “good hair day”.
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I planned my day in order to have time to watch a French film I’ve had here from Netflix for the past 2 or 3 weeks. The film was “The Double Life of Veronique”. An interesting film and a nice way to spend a Friday afternoon.
 

French Friday ~”Forever Chic” (chapter three)

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Chapter Three
Le Maquillage
More Than Ever, Less Is More


The overall goal for the Frenchwoman is to appear natural. Hair, skin, style, makeup…a lot of effort may go into achieving it but the goal is a natural, effortless appearance. Tish Jett discusses makeup (maquillage) in Chapter Three, breaking it down into the following categories:
Foundation – choosing the right color, texture/type, how to apply
Powder – translucent powder and how to apply
Bronzer – how to apply for a sun-kissed look
Eyes – mascara, eyeliner, eye shadow, highlighter, eyebrows 
Lips – the two lipsticks every woman needs
Cheeks – cream or powder?
Fragrance – No discussion of French beauty is complete without perfume.

This was my favorite part of Chapter Three. I started wearing fragrance before I was a teenager. Love’s Baby Soft, anyone? I then graduated to Charlie which I thought was quite grownup. And then during high school I discovered Shalimar by Guerlain.. Real French perfume. I was immediately captivated by it and have worn it almost exclusively ever since. It’s expensive but I consider it a necessity and wear it every day. I feel naked without it, and not in a good way. 

This was a fun chapter containing a number of helpful beauty tips. I love the quote the author uses to end the chapter:

“It’s a privilege to be a woman; every woman should abuse that privilege. Forget the past. Do everything according to love, pleasure and passion.” ~ Eric Antoniotti

French Friday ~ “Forever Chic” (chapter one)

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Today is the first “meeting” of the French Chic book club. We are reading Tish Jett’s new book, “Forever Chic: Frenchwomen’s Secrets for Timeless Beauty, Style and Substance”. We are on our way to New Orleans today so this post was written last night, before any actual discussion on our group site.

Tish Jett moved to France “for two years” for her job and more than 25 years later, she’s still there. “Forever Chic” is dedicated to women of “a certain age” (over 40) and is a distillation of what she has learned from close observation of those legendary French women.

The first chapter is: The Allure of La Femme Française d’un Certain Âge


As one who falls into the category of a woman “of a certain age” I’m most definitely interested in how French women remain stylish and alluring no matter their age.

As I read through the chapter I highlighted the following words:

1. Self-confidence
2. Pragmatism
3. Simplicity
4. Quality over quantity
5. Natural
6. Informed
7. Discipline
8. Priority
9. Self-respect
10. Discretion

I now have this list of words written a small piece of paper (in pink ink) by my computer to serve as a reminder.

Tish, who teaches adult English classes, asked her French students (age 44-75) what keeps them young. No one mentioned a facial cream or beauty trick. Here is their list:

Things that keep you young
  • travel
  • classes (everything from painting to yoga)
  • annual museum memberships
  • children and grandchildren
  • entertaining
  • fresh air and long walks
  • eating lots of fruits and vegetables
  • sex
My children are grown and I don’t have grandchildren but I can certainly pull off the rest of that list. In fact, most of those things are already part of my life. 
I enjoyed this first chapter and have already gleaned some helpful advice. I look forward to what the rest of the book holds. If you have the book, I’d love to hear your thoughts. And if you don’t but are interested, consider ordering a copy and joining the discussion here in the weeks to come. 

French Friday – Book Club

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New book for online book club!
Forever Chic by Tish Jett
The French Chic group I belong to decided it would be fun to do an online book club. As we were discussing which book to read first one of our members humbly mentioned that she had a book coming out. Parfait! Several of us pre-ordered and it began shipping this week. 
I received my copy a couple of days ago and I’m really eager to begin reading it. We will probably cover a chapter a week and my plan is to share some highlights here on “French Fridays”. If you’d like to join in, you can order your own copy here. It’s available in hardback and Kindle versions. I have a Kindle but I opted for the hardback so it can take its place amongst my collection of French-themed books. I’m so glad I did because it’s absolutely gorgeous with quality binding and darling illustrations. You should also check out Tish’s blog, A Femme d’Un Certain Age.

Check back next Friday for the first chapter of “Forever Chic”. Bonsoir, mes amis!

French Friday ~ Take a Walk

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I’ve been so pleased with the increased participation on the French Chic Yahoo Group. I wish I had taken steps to jump-start things long ago. It seems many were quietly waiting in the wings, eager for a return to our more active days. I learned something from this: Don’t wait for someone else to do it.

In addition to plans for a group book discussion, we are also selecting a group challenge each week. This week many of us committed to walking each day. Some of us use a treadmill, others aim for a certain number of steps per day, and still others are enjoying walking with our dogs.

Last week I saw my doctor and we discussed my exercise challenges. I am anemic and asthmatic which means I am short of breath with exertion. He recommended starting slowly, stopping just short of breathlessness, then maintain that level for a full two weeks before adding a bit more. He said it takes about two weeks for one’s body to adjust to a certain level of activity. I’m taking his advice and am determined to increase my endurance.

It’s a bit discouraging at times when I see friends on Facebook sharing how many miles they ran. Actual, honest-to-goodness running. I tell you truly that if you see me running I hope you’ll try to head off whoever is chasing me. But the fact is I can only start where I am and it does no good to compare myself to others. That’s what I love about our French Chic ladies. We are there to encourage one another and the only competition is with ourselves, not each other.

If you could use a little exercise I encourage you to join me in a daily walk. Leave me a comment and tell me your walking goal. Mine is 10 minutes on the treadmill at a 5% incline, plus several walks with Shiloh each day. We can do this!