Keeping House Like Hyacinth Bucket

Hyacinth “Bouquet”, the very proper British housewife in the popular sitcom, Keeping Up Appearances, serves as a fine example of how to maintain high standards in the home. Keeping house like Hyacinth Bucket is no easy task but I’m here to help break it down into its basic elements. 

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Keeping House Like Hyacinth

 

Mind Your Image…

Stretch pants and a t-shirt might be okay for “other” homemakers (like Hyacinth’s sister, Daisy) but not those who aspire to Hyacinth’s standards. No, no, my friends. Always dress impeccably, even if you are simply going into the garden to cut roses for one of your candlelight suppers. 

A modestly cut, floral dress with sensible shoes and a strand of pearls will give the homemaker an attractive appearance whether she is dusting her slimline telephone or answering the doorbell. 

When leaving the home, a smart dress with matching hat and handbag are essential. Spotless, white gloves are a nice touch but let’s be honest – very few women wear them these days. ‘Tis a pity. 

 

Maintain Cleanliness…

Cleanliness is next to godliness, as the old saying goes. The homemaker who follows Hyacinth’s example will make sure her home is clean and tidy at all times. 

Prevention is key. Be sure that anyone who enters your home has carefully wiped their feet on the doormat. If there’s any doubt about the state of their shoes, it’s best to politely ask the guest to remove them. One can’t be too careful. 

Washing, repainting or re-wallpapering walls are time-consuming and expensive. One can reduce the necessity for these tasks by reminding people in your home not to brush up against the walls. 

Prompt attention to spills is another important responsibility of the homemaker. If your neighbor spills coffee on your new rug, be sure to clean it immediately so it won’t stain. 

 

Perfect Presentation…

One’s home is one’s castle and therefore demands attention to detail. Arrange furniture and decorative items with precision. You can’t go wrong with symmetry and right angles. 

Lace doilies, fine china figurines and vases with fresh flowers add charm and a touch of class that guests will admire. 

 

Be an Elegant Host…

A good hostess will make even a casual visit from a neighbor feel special. Serve properly brewed tea or coffee in matching cups and saucers (no chipped rims!). There should be milk or cream and sugar available as your guest prefers. 

Always have some biscuits/cookies on hand for unexpected company. Homemade are lovely, of course, but nice store-bought cookies will do. Keep them in a cookie tin with a tight-fitting lid to help them stay fresh. Serve on a paper doily-covered plate. 

You don’t have to host full-on candlelight suppers but do use the good china and crystal at least for holidays and celebrations. Your guests will appreciate the effort and be suitably impressed.

 

Keep a Tidy Garden…

Ideally, one’s husband will handle the chores required to maintain an attractive and tidy garden. Remind him that gardening is no excuse for slovenly dress, however. 

The proper housewife may do such tasks inspecting plants for pests and cutting roses for bouquets. 

 

Romanticize the Ordinary…

Give common things fancy names. The living room can be referred to as the “drawing room”. Eating outdoors is “dining al fresco”. And “riparian entertainments” sounds so much more glamorous than a riverside picnic, doesn’t it?

 

Have a Daily Schedule…

It takes a lot of work to maintain proper standards in the home. Create a daily and weekly plan for cleaning, laundry, cooking, marketing and other errands. Then stick to it. Your family’s reputation in the neighborhood depends on you!

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Note: For anyone who has not watched Keeping Up Appearances, please note that this post has been written in the same tongue-in-cheek spirit as the humorous British classic. 

 

Series is streaming on BritBox – click here.

 

Keeping Up Appearances – Book of Etiquette

 

Keeping Up Appearances Complete Series

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