Have you ever been around someone who is constantly talking about God, Jesus, their faith, the Bible, etc.? I mean, even when it has little to do with the conversation at hand, they find a way to interject something religious? I know I’m taking a risk by even bringing this up — there’s a lot of room for misunderstanding — but I’ve been thinking about this for some time now and after reading a friend’s blog post today, I felt inclined to go ahead and just share my thoughts.
There are some people, like my dear grandmother who passed away last fall, whose faith is larger than they are and it just seems natural to hear them speak of it as a matter of course. It doesn’t feel forced or as if there is an underlying motive but simply as expression of who they are. I’ve encountered a very small handful of people who fit this description.
On the other hand, there are many, many more who pepper their speech with frequent religious references which come across as either insincere (a few) or as if they are trying too hard (many). It feels as though they are trying to convince themselves and others of their religious greatness. I do try not to make that judgment but I’m human and fairly perceptive so I have to admit that I do sometimes wonder why these folks feel the need to do this. Do they have something to prove? Something to hide?
Several months ago I read the following quote by Donald Miller:
“I’ve also found that the more I trust in Christ’s redemption to be sufficient, the less overtly religious I am. And, quite honestly, the more suspect overtly religious people become to me. When I’m with somebody who talks zealously about faith, about Jesus, about the Bible, after a while, I find myself wondering whether or not their faith is strong at all.”
I found myself nodding in agreement and relieved to find that someone else, someone I respect, was articulating my feelings on the subject. I do know that personality plays a role. I’m an introvert and sometimes a bit shy. I’ve never been comfortable praying out loud, for instance. I’ve never made a secret of the fact that I’m a Christian but I’ve also never felt the need to blatantly advertise the fact, announcing it to anyone and everyone.
Take my blog, for instance. If you read for a length of time you will see casual references to my church and faith. I mention Advent, Christmas, Lent and Easter as naturally as I write of the changing of the seasons each year. I’ve shared pictures of our church and a poem I wrote about it. I wrote about it when my grandmother died. My faith is an integral part of who I am and anyone who knows me, or reads my writings, will see that over time. And if they don’t? Well, I’m of the opinion that if my life doesn’t reflect my faith then announcing it on the sidebar of my blog, frequently quoting scripture, plastering Jesus bumper stickers on my car, etc. are meaningless acts.
You have no idea how this resonates with me. I once lived next to a woman who was a walking Bible. Everything that came out of her mouth was Scripture. It was incredibly irritating to me because I found her shallow and meaningless. Besides, she always wanted to stick her head out of her window to talk Scripture to me when I was bent over in my garden, weeding and praying silently, in commune with God in my own way. I wanted to slap her and tell her that "outside" people don't even understand what she was talking about. If you want to witness to people, you have to speak THEIR language – not yours.
Thank you, Deanna!
As with many things in life, actions speak far louder than words. Doing a silent kindness for a stranger seems to me to have more value than preaching to the stranger.
Pe@ce Out,
Bryan
Matthew 6:5 And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.
Great post, Deanna! I too, have never liked praying out loud. I don't have an issue with people who do (for the most part), it's just not something I've ever been comfortable with.
Thanks for the link!
I agree with everything you've written. (And I love Donald Miller.) Thanks for being brave and speaking up. I'm in a church that I like for many reasons and there are a lot of good people there, but often I feel uncomfortable because of all the "church" people. I can't have what I consider a normal conversation with a lot of them because they do pepper their conversations with religious speak, something I don't do. (And sometimes, even as a Christian, I don't understand the language they're speaking!) I'm a private person and feel we're all on a faith journey and are at different places in that journey.
I also don't feel comfortable praying aloud and don't want to get too involved in a lot of activities at church because often that involves taking turns praying aloud.
St. Francis is also a favorite of mine (I was born on his day!) and feel that our actions are the most important. I know so many people who are outraged about prayer being "taken out of school" and I try to explain to them that they can pray anywhere. I leave out the part about being like the pharisees praying out in public. 😉
Jaci, you are so right about talking to people in THEIR language, not just quoting scriptures. That doesn't fly. I know someone who started quoting bible verses to convince someone that atheism is wrong. How is that going to work? And I strongly believe that it's our deeds that are going to make people stand up and take notice.
Jesus is coming! Look busy.
Be blessed!
I know exactly what you mean. In fact I just had a similar conversation with my husband the other night. If you believe, your faith will show through without having to talk about it all the time.
I was surprised and gratified by the responses to this post. I had a number of comments on FB as well. There are a couple of people who have trouble posting comments here for some reason but they said I could add their comments. I will copy and paste them below.
Linda Diltz Beckman: You took the thoughts right out of my head! I've been thinking for a long time that these people have hijacked my Christianity. The strangest thing is, they seem not to follow the examples of Christ, at all! I hear mostly political/social issue rhetoric from them. Very little is mentioned about kindness, charity, forgiveness or any of the tenets of Christianity.
Gandhi said, "I like your Christ, but I do not like your Christians." Interesting observation on hypocrisy, isn't it? What really makes me wretch is when the politicians claim exclusive endorsement from God and inject their Christianity each time they open their mouths. Wonder if Sarah Palin will see this.
*I then asked if I could add Linda's comments and she replied:
Fine by moi. I haven't written anything I would retract! By the way, I LOVED the sidebar re-interpretation (that's not really the right word) of the Bible passage. I'm going to go back and copy/paste it and I'm going to go to Amazon and order that book! Kudos to you Deanna for having the courage of your convictions to shine a light on the 5000 lb. Gorilla in the room.
Terra Scholz: Thanks for opening this subject for discussion. I have received emails from Christian friends in the last six months to which I have had to hit "reply all," with the response…"What would Jesus do?" So many folks want to exclude those who… have different beliefs and ethnicities. This seems so surreal. Jesus taught us to accept those who are different. Most of all, Jesus taught us to trust in the power of love and urged us not to dwell in fear… It is fear that is driving all this negativity…and it is faith that quells our fears. Keep the Faith..
“Be vigilant; guard your mind against negative thoughts.” Buddha
"Dwelling on the negative simply contributes to its power" Shirley McLlain (I just love quoting these two in the same comment 🙂
Jaci: Good point. It is impossible to judge what is going on in someone's head. I may not be one to quote scriptures *at* everyone or pray outloud but I consider my whole life to be a prayer.
Bryan: Absolutely! A religious bumper sticker doesn't mean much if you frequently exhibit road rage. Our actions should match our intended message.
Anne-Marie: Good one. It's all in the motive, as far as I'm concerned. It's not that praying aloud is wrong; there are definitely times when it's the right thing to do. However, I have seen far too many who do so as a means of showing off.
Amanda: Thank you writing your post on this subject. I really needed to get this out and you gave me the courage to do so.
Cherie: I'm so glad I *met* you as I so often feel a kinship with you.
Fortunately for me, the church I attend isn't overtly "churchy". Faith is exhibited by action rather than religio-speak. However, I grew up in a different religious tradition and that wasn't the case.
Crunchy Chicken (aka Deanna – yay! another one): Thanks for making me laugh. I hadn't heard that one in awhile. 🙂
Lisa: I read this on my iPhone this weekend and honestly, I really did "laugh out loud". I'm sure it's funnier to us than to others due to a shared insider reference. 😉
Lovelylissie: Thanks for your comment. It's so good to know I'm not alone in this.
Btw, I just checked out your blog. Love it! Thanks for visiting.
I'm glad you posted this. I hate to be preached "at" but more so I loathe phoniness.
Most people I come in contact with a kind but there constant judging and way of talking like a broken record is sometimes too much to handle.
http://ashafullife.blogspot.com/2010/09/would-jesus-like-to-buy-some-popcorn.html
http://ashafullife.blogspot.com/2010/08/life-here-on-state-gag-interesting-to.html