Is being a homemaker enough? One of my favorite YouTubers recently asked that question and it struck a chord with me. Is it? I suppose the short answer is…maybe. But let’s delve a little deeper.
Is Being a Homemaker Enough?
There was a time when few questioned whether being a homemaker was “enough”. Men went to work to support their families and women stayed home to take care of the home and children. That’s just the way it was and most accepted it as the norm.
But times have changed. In 2022, 72.9% of married women with children under the age of 18 were in the labor force (working or looking for work). Now that full-time homemakers are in the minority women sometimes find themselves wondering if being a homemaker is enough.
Let’s start by defining what we mean by “homemaker”. Here are a few dictionary definitions:
Dictionary.com –
a person who manages the household of his or her own family, especially as a principal occupation
Merriam-Webster –
one who manages a household especially as a spouse and parent
Cambridge Dictionary –
someone who manages a home and family instead of earning money from employment
All of these definitions refer to the act of managing. In the workplace a manager is one whose job is to control or organize something. That’s really a pretty good description of what a homemaker does. The homemaker is in charge of most or all of the following:
- meal planning
- grocery shopping
- laundry
- preparing meals
- purchasing household goods
- cleaning
- errands and appointments
- child care
- household budgeting
- overseeing health of the family
When done well it actually takes a lot of creativity and hard work to manage a household. Few who have had the opportunity to act as the primary household manager would say it’s an easy job. I’ll never forget the first time I left our first child in the care of my husband for a full day. Chris was about 15 months old at the time.
When I returned, David was still in his robe and the house was utterly destroyed. He was exhausted. After that experience he never asked me that hated question…”What did you do all day?”.
However, the question is not if homemaking can keep you busy all day but whether it is enough. Does it provide sufficient “scope for the imagination”, to borrow a phrase from Anne of Green Gables? Is it mentally challenging? Can it provide women with a sense of satisfaction?
I think it depends on two things – the individual woman and what she brings to the job.
An extrovert who draws energy from interacting with other people might find it lonely at home, particularly if there are no children to care for.
Some women have little interest in the usual day-to-day tasks of homemaking. If you hate to clean and hate to cook, you might find homemaking stifling unless you have the funds to hire help in those areas.
Managing a household well requires hard work, good time management skills and the willingness to learn everything from cooking to stain removal.
If approached with creativity it can be a rewarding job. Heating up a frozen meal in the microwave could technically be considered feeding one’s family but it doesn’t provide the same sense of accomplishment as cooking a delicious meal from scratch. The same is true for all aspects of homemaking. Doing just barely enough to get by isn’t likely to leave you feeling fulfilled in your job whether it’s as a homemaker or in paid employment.
What about the woman who genuinely DOES enjoy her role at home and approaches homemaking with creativity? Is it enough for her? Maybe. It seemed to be for my grandmother. Although she also kept nursery at church so perhaps that served as something extra for her.
I was one of those little girls who loved to play house and looked forward to having my own home and family to care for someday. Other than a few years as a nurse, I have been a homemaker as my primary role in adulthood. I consider myself fortunate to have been able to do this.
Is it enough for me? It was when I had babies or toddlers. It was when I was homeschooling our kids. But at this stage of my life as an empty nester I need other outlets.
That is part of the reason I have this blog. It’s why I volunteer for various organizations. I’ve cleaned enough toilets and made enough beds in close to four decades of marriage that I no longer find any charm in those tasks.
I do, however, still enjoy cooking and decorating my home. I love creating a warm and inviting atmosphere. As an introvert I am grateful that I get to spend most of my days in my cozy and quiet home.
Whether one is employed outside the home or is a full-time homemaker, there are going to be trade-offs. I occasionally miss certain aspects of being a R.N. working as a hospice nurse. I enjoyed the one-on-one care I was able to give my patients and the comfort I provided to grieving families. It was a very rewarding, albeit emotionally challenging, career.
And honestly? I miss the respect I received. Let’s face it; our current society doesn’t always hold homemakers in very high regard.
That’s why it is important for the homemaker to do her job in such a way that she feels good about her role. It’s also important to pursue some other interests, hobbies or volunteer work. The woman who only cares about getting her laundry white and her kitchen floor shiny may be a cliché but the truth is that everyone benefits from cultivating broader interests.
What do you think? If you are a full-time homemaker do you also pursue other interests? If you are employed outside the home what do you think would be the biggest challenges for you if you were to become a homemaker? I’d love to hear your thoughts so leave me a comment.
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Loved this post, I was mostly a FT homemaker when my kids were little, though I held various PT jobs here and there during those years. I have now been a FT homemaker for 7 years, after leaving a very stressful government job. I no longer have any children at home, but still find great satisfaction (most days!) in keeping our home neat and clean, decorating, cooking healthy meals, gardening, and all the other things you listed. I am an introvert and have many interests…I read a lot of books and magazines, I write poetry, I write a blog, I listen to music, I go to a yoga class, I’m recently certified in Reiki 1 and am learning more about it/reading and studying to see where I want this to lead, I meet up with friends and family for fun outings, I take writing classes, I cook for those who are ill, I study/research a lot about health and nutrition, I practice my photography,…on and on!
To this day, I get people who look at me strangely when I tell them I’m at home FT. And I do indeed still get asked the question, “What do you do all day?” Or, “What do you do to keep yourself busy?” Even when I answer, “Are you kidding me? There’s not enough hours in the day to do all I love!”, they still look at me like I have two heads or something. I one time read that a good retort to those questions are, “All the things you wish you had time to do!” 😉
Oh, I love that reply! Must remember that – ha!
I love the retort, and it’s very true 😉
I’m at home all day, splitting my time between being a homemaker, being an author, and persuing other interests. I love that I can do that, even though I have to agree with the comment above about not having enough time to do everything I want to. I enjoy trying though.
I, too, am grateful that I can pursue my interests at home.
I love being a homemaker, even as an empty nester, I find it creative and satisfying, I love helping my family business, helping with Grand children, caring for my husband, home, caring for my health, interests , even work a few hours a week in the beauty industry and I’m so busy I run out of time.
I totally agree!
Yet another lovely blog by you that i enjoyed reading today. This was so lovely and soothing for a reader like me to consume the contents. Thank you. I am a homemaker and although i had an option to monetize my education with a masters degree in business administration for HR, i consciously chise to be a homemaker because i wanted to be with my kids. And fortunately our economic condition was in favour of my decision. I am on a mission to spread the word that homemaking is a “job” too. And so to express my thoughts strongly and precisely i have chosen two platforms on the internet. First one being Blogging and second medium is Youtube.
I strongly feel that homemaking is a job if taken seriously and consciously. And you have already elaborated all those points in this blog so beautifully. So i completely agree with your view about this topic.
I truly love your blogs.
Thank you for your kind comments. I totally agree that homemaking can indeed be a job. I’ll go take a look at your blog. 🙂
I’m just now reading. This and I’m so encouraged. I’m a nurse by profession and I chose family over career when my kids were little snd home and I had elder care responsibilities. Now I’m and empty nester but continue to embrace home making responsibilities and many personal interests. I wonder sometimes if I’m missing something but that comes from comparing and contrasting. I’m happy to read about homemaking being so esteemed. It’s definitely not esteemed in our culture.
I wonder if homemaking is seeing a bit of a renaissance, and if the pandemic might be showing people that it’s a lot more complicated than they previously thought. I’m all for women having the freedom to choose their own path and not everyone is happy and fulfilled as a homemaker. But I do believe it’s an honorable undertaking and should be respected.
I’ve been employed outside the home for over 46 years. We raised 2 daughters and I climbed the ladder. I am turning 62 this year and my in-laws need elder care. We are financially ready for me to retire but I am terrified of being home every day while my husband goes off to work. Who will I talk to? I have many interests. I love homemaking and have a huge garden on our 5 acres. I love decorating and entertaining. I have volunteered most of my life and am actually kind of burned out. Just trying to wrap my head around this new role without falling into a depressed state. Sounds like all of you know what you’re doing! It’s helpful.
Will you be doing the care for your in-laws? If so, it will be especially important for you to make time for your own interests, as well. Change is often scary but hopefully this new stage of life will bring its own rewards.
I have been a full-time homemaker for over 40 years and have felt so much joy in this role. I believe it is important to be happy with what you do with your life.
I totally agree. To the best of our abilities and according to our circumstances, I believe we should choose what we want and then embrace that decision.
I have been struggling with this question for about 4 years now. I’m a fulltime homemaker and mother (I have a 4 year old boy and a 10 year old girl). I have homeschooled until this coming August when she will be going to a local school. Which means I won’t be the teacher anymore (both a relieved feeling and a sad one). *LOTS OF FIGHTS that won’t be happening anymore*
I have wondered if I have given the world enough of myself in the past 11 years…… what have I done to leave it a better place than I found it???
I am an introvert but I love helping. I have such a knack for being creative. I love designing tabletop games, 3D printing pieces for them (and various solutions to things), my kids love it.
I love finance, so I pour myself into our monthly budgets and planning.
I love home improvement, so I have renovated 2 homes and flipped them. Which gave us the opportunity to buy our dream home with the money I made on them.
I love home design, so I am always knee-deep in remodeling a room in the house to make it “more functional for our needs” even though I swore this was “the dream home” XD
I wanted to be a stand-up comedian when I was a bit younger, and I make my family and friends laugh almost nonstop..
Well, to the point, I have so much I want to give, and at this scale, I was convincing myself that I had lost myself.
I was certain that I had doomed myself, as Erin, forever.
I even pushed my husband’s career because I wanted to be part of some sort of success.
Now that I have entered my 30s… I have… well… started to accept my role. And not just accept it. I am sort of starting to feel fulfilled and happy at the end of the night. The thought that my attributes “were lost to the world” seems so silly now. Because I have been implementing and successfully using them here the whole time. For my family and OUR lives. Raising children that are going to go out there and teach what I have been teaching them. Not hoping that all of the different babysitters and daycare systems had given them what they needed in life to make the world a better place. (I’m not saying they can’t, but I would have worried…)
So staying at home is stifling at times. But now I’m finally looking at like a blessing and not a curse. And I’m so glad that I changed my way of thinking while I still have young ones. I wouldn’t have been able to forgive myself if I had spent their childhood feeling that way. I feel so free and happy to be in this role. It’s a load off of my shoulders!!
Thanks for the blog, I have really need to look for these a long time ago.
I think most women have these questions at times. One thing I’m coming to understand is that life is a series of seasons. In the midst of raising young children the season seems long and all-encompassing. Yet there will be time for other pursuits later. And I do believe a lot of it has to do with the story we tell ourselves about whatever it is we are doing. The best we can do is to make our choices and then embrace them until the next season. It sounds like that’s what you are doing. 🙂